Let's Make A Sandwich Out Of It
- Sheridan Guerrette
- Mar 25
- 8 min read
Caterpillars on My Face, a Southern Twang in the Supermarket, Kyle’s Sad Little Fern, and Banana Pie: The Ingredients of My Favorite Sandwich.
What Sheridan Said — Airing Wednesdays at 9/8c.
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Previously on What Sheridan Said...
Far from burning out, Sheridan The Great reveals how she has been quietly building across scripts, books, poetry, and film, drawing on years of experience managing teams from twenty to a thousand people in nightclubs, theatres, tech startups, and more, explaining why starting several creative projects simultaneously feels not only sane but necessary for a mind that needs to understand things at every scale. Through it all, she embraces a new season of deliberate, grounded expansion filled with routine, dogs, loved ones, emails, ghostwriting, tennis, and just enough trash TV, proving that artists truly are entrepreneurs and that the old rules of balance simply don’t apply when you’re applying hard-earned scalable systems to work that genuinely lights you up.
Starting Multiple Ventures at Once (Sorry Gurus)
March 18th, 2026
Why Breaking Every Rule Feels Sane for this Perfectionist Workaholic
CUT TO:
Let's Make a Sandwich Out Of It
Somebody, the other day, a stranger in the supermarket, spoke Farsi to me without being prompted by a thing. I looked at him, confused but not entirely — mostly because I’ve been around the language enough to recognize that yeah, he was definitely speaking Farsi. So I hit him with a little Southern twang and said, “Now I’m so sorry, sir, I only speak English.”
His smile adjusted into another smile, and he goes, “Oh ma’am, I’m sorry, I thought you were Arab like me.”
Me, now curious as hell, said, “Can I ask what made you think I was?”
He didn’t even pause for a full second: “Your eyebrows… and the way you move and walk. You’re very elegant and slow with the way you carry yourself.”
I said, “Thank you.” Checked out at self-checkout, then marched straight to my car, flipped down the sun visor, and studied my eyebrows in that tiny vanity mirror.
The next day, that stranger was still taking up space in my head. So I texted one of my friends who actually speaks Farsi and is Arab, and typed this whole chaotic paragraph:
“sooo.. the other day at the supermarket, well yesterday, this random guy came up and started speaking Farsi to me because he thought I was arab and spoke Farsi, so I asked him what made him think that, and he said ‘your eyebrows’ umm.. so what is it about my eyebrows that say im arab?? can you help? lol ok thanks, my mind won’t stop wondering about this.”
He hit me back in thirty seconds flat: “They’re very hairy and very straight.”
I replied faster than lightning: “Oh… cool lol. thanks”
Now, what I like to do when firing an employee, breaking up with a boyfriend, or just pointing out negative attributes — I say, “let’s make a sandwich out of this situation.”
But what I mean is let’s make a compliment sandwich.
Thank you so much, Adam, for this new Birkin purse. I love it! You’re such an attentive, thoughtful man—I really admire that about you.(Pause)We’ve both made such great strides in our lives: me with my book, you with your career. But I think it’s time we go our separate ways from here.(Pause)Oh, and Sarah’s going to take over your office and move in. I already talked to your buddy Jared—he has two spare rooms ready for you and your stuff.(Pause)I’m really excited to see what you’ll achieve next, Adam. When you really focus and put your determination into something, you can do anything. Now you’ll finally have the space to make it happen! I can’t wait to watch your company take off!Or this example:
Hey Kyle, I just wanted to say, you are incredible at showing up on time every single day. Seriously, the punctuality is chef’s kiss, and your desk is always so tidy, like we could actually perform surgery on it.(Pause)That being said, we’ve decided to go in a different direction with the team. We’re letting you go today. Oh, and HR already packed your stuff—your sad little fern is in this cardboard box right here. We also canceled your Slack access and your parking spot, but good news: the vending machine still takes your old employee code for one more free bag of chips on your way out!(Pause)I’m so excited for whatever comes next for you, Kyle. You have this amazing… energy. When you really apply yourself to something you actually care about, I have no doubt you’re going to crush it. Can’t wait to see your LinkedIn glow-up!I’ll stop with the examples because I’m pretty sure you’re getting my drift now.
So when that stranger explained that my furry straight eyebrows plus my slow, elegant mannerisms are what made him assume I was Arab, I declared the whole thing a compliment sandwich. The main bread and condiments are the fact that I, Sheridan The Great, am elegant, poised, controlled, and feminine with my mannerisms — major chef’s kiss. The sad bologna in the middle is that I have caterpillars on my face. But the other piece of the sandwich that smashes that nasty bologna down is Cara Delevingne, the British supermodel who made furry eyebrows hot. To you, my queen, I thank thee.
I mentioned earlier that my abs were coming back in, and overall, I’m a fit person — any indulgence usually gets followed by a week of moderation. I’m saying all this as I stuff my face with a box of Kraft mac and cheese and banana pie, because let’s be real: 95% of this body is straight genetics.
The past few months, my social media feeds have been filled with women posting about my body type, asking, “How do I achieve this? Please only realistic responses and only respond if you have this body, please!!!! thanks, babes! No hate!”
I’ve refrained from commenting, but I scroll through the replies quite frequently. Some are giving advice that may or may not actually be harmful to their health in the long run, some comment to troll and to hate, and others — I find a small fraction — are commenting with the reality: it’s just genetics.
It is genetics, but it’s also style. It’s a trend. It’s what the media, what society, what you and I collectively say is… “goals.”
Fashion is a funny industry, and as I like to famously say, “It’s the only industry where the trickle-down effect actually occurs.” Beauty and body trends run on a predictable cycle of about two decades. I didn’t know who Paris Hilton was until my late teens, so I’m truly blessed to have been sheltered growing up in the country of Minnesota throughout the early 2000s. Back then, my naturally thin body with slight proportionate curves was one of the most desired looks. Women were starving themselves and making themselves throw up to achieve it. Tabloids, Perez Hilton, and TMZ called every roll of bad posture “fat and ugly.” It was dehumanizing.
Today, twenty years later — slightly after BBLs, slim thick, and “curvy is queen” — we’ve turned the page to Ozempic, Mounjaro, and Ro (oddly sponsored by Serena Williams). I’m really mad I tossed all my skinny jeans, because I know they’ll be back every twenty years like clockwork… and so will my body. Thin is apparently in right now, but guess what — that’s just for the moment. Soon, “curvy is queen” will cycle back, along with some new fat-surgery placement solidified by media and the Kardashians. —Ozempic and thigh gaps will be yesterday’s news.
At the end of the day, whether it’s random strangers reading my face like a map, my body being “in” or “out” every two decades, or me having to fire Kyle while praising his sad little fern — everything’s better when you slap two big slices of compliments around the ugly middle. Life hands you bologna. You add bread and condiments, and suddenly it’s… edible.
So next time someone speaks to you wrong, or the internet tells you your body is trending (or not), just smile, hit ’em with that Southern twang (fake it like I did if you need), and declare it a compliment sandwich. Then go eat the damn pie.
Running into that stranger makes me wonder what other assumptions people are making about me that I’ll never hear. In college, I was rumored to be a Russian exchange student. In D.C., people often assumed I wasn’t American until I spoke. But what does the lady at the gas station think? Does she think I’m quiet and mysterious because I move slowly? Does the barista at my local coffee shop assume I’m high-maintenance because of the rings on my fingers? Hell, maybe someone out there even sees my whole aura and decides I’m a secret agent (kidding, we already know they do).
And the funny part? Most of those stories are probably way more fun and interesting than the real one. I’m not elegant on purpose; I just think too much before I move. I’m not ‘goals’ because I earned it; I just won the genetic lottery this decade and lost it the one before. None of us are the main character in anyone else’s movie, and rarely are we even the one in our own.
So yeah… I’m gonna keep stuffing my face with banana pie when the mood hits, keep my eyebrows exactly as furry as I want them to be, and walk however slow and elegant I damn well please. Trends will flip again — thin, thick, straight, fluffy, whatever Vogue says is hot — and my body and my face will still just be mine. Sometimes the best reality checks come from the produce aisle, no physical sandwich required.
. . .
And on the business side of things, because yes, even chaotic eyebrow stories have a business side, I’ve been deep in the weeds transitioning my entire website to hopefully pull in more readers and open the door to even more ghostwriting and scriptwriting opportunities. (Not published yet)
The book, What Sheridan Said: Season One – Memoir of the Modern Heroine, is almost in stores! It’ll be available on my website’s store, on Amazon, Kindle, and in select stores nationwide. I’m so excited to finally release the digital, paperback, and hardcover versions. I’m literally on the edge of my seat, waiting on just a few final technical things, ready to clap the clapperboard and get this show officially started. Well… It’s already started because you’re here reading Season Two with me, but you know what I mean.
I’ve also been learning all about grant applications for films. This isn’t about the short film I’ve been scouting locations for — that one’s more of a recreation of an iconic scene from an even more iconic movie, with a few character spins I added. While it would be incredible for my portfolio to finish, it’s currently on the back burner because I’ve got paid ghostwriting gigs and original scriptwriting opportunities lined up.
The past month, I’ve been working remotely and away from the city. As much as my feet are thanking me for the break, I miss being around other fabulously dressed people. You know me — I’m the girl who’ll show up to a biker bar in a ball gown and full glam because I genuinely don’t care about the perceptions, I just want to be myself. Still, it’s refreshing to sit at a café in stilettos, a loose blouse, and a skirt, place my purse on the hook under the table, and glance over to see the woman next to me rocking stilettos and a silk skirt too.
And with that, I’m off to finish this banana pie and practice my Southern twang. I’ll see you next episode.
xo,
Sheridan Guerrette
Like your favorite series, but smarter, messier, and better dressed.
For more articles and personal insights from Sheridan, visit SheridanGuerrette.com
You (thinking out loud): “I mean, I could support her, but I’m lame. Well, I don’t want to be lame, I want to be cool, you know? Like that girl Sheridan, my god, she’s so cool. — If only there were a way to be as cool as her? — idk —oh yeah, I guess by upgrading, I’d become so cool, maybe, Sheridan will hit me in the face.”
Me, aka ‘Sheridan The Great’, aka ‘That Bitch’: “I will not hit you in the face, unless you do something hit-worthy and we are in international waters on a yacht that I own. But if you do upgrade, I will think you are super mega popular and cool.”
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